A woman has gone viral on TikTok for not the kind of talk you expect from a mom of four. She hoped for no Pinterest boards, bridal dreams, or white gowns from her daughters. Instead, she presented a blunt offer: skip the wedding, take the cash.
When 42-year-old Kate and her husband tied the knot years ago, it wasn’t just a fairytale, but also a financial hangover that lasted five years. “We had this big, fancy, poofy wedding,” she explained in her viral TikTok video. “It was a beautiful day, it was a great wedding. But the cost of it was exorbitant,” she said, adding how it took them five years to pay the debt off.
That regret became her family rule. Kate, who often shares parenting and finance tips online, now promises each of her four daughters a lump sum of $35,000 if they agree to skip a traditional wedding altogether. The deal is simple: sign the court papers, throw a small dinner if you want, and don’t drain your future on a one-day spectacle.
Looking back, Kate said she’d rather have gone to the courthouse or had something small in a family member’s backyard instead of the grand wedding. While she clarified that she isn’t against marriage, her own regrets have made her opinionated against the culture of overspending on weddings. Instead, she suggests investing the money in a house, on a nice honeymoon, or in a retirement fund, among other practical options.
“If they choose not to have a wedding, they will get a check. And the reason I’m going to do that is because most married couples start off their marriage in debt.”
Kate believes that if she had gotten the same offer or had invested her money elsewhere, that would’ve given her a better start to her married life. “That would have taken a lot of the pressure off the first few years of our marriage,” she explained, calling her grand wedding “a huge waste of money.”
Her video struck a nerve online, amassing millions of views and thousands of comments from people torn between sentiment and practicality. Some praised her for breaking the cycle of financial pressure disguised as romance. Others insisted weddings are a once-in-a-lifetime occasion and a little splurging doesn’t hurt as much as she’s making it to be.
Yet, Kate’s logic hit hard for many young adults watching their friends sink into debt for a single night of photos and champagne. However, even though her daughters know her “heart on the matter,” she has left the decision up to them. Kate asserted she would still cover any necessary costs if they decided on a wedding celebration.
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